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#81  2008-06-13 09:08:11

pinkmao03
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???

Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

hey!
let me share to you a story from:
www.lovefatedestiny.com...
ok and here it is!
once,a girl named Betty had a crush on a boy named Angelo.on their school,they bumped each other and Betty blushed really hard.when Betty got home,she called her bestfriend Aileen on the phone and said:
"hey Aileen! it's me Betty! guess what! i bumped my crush in the school this afternoon! and i reall went "OMG"! OMG Aileen you can't believe it! so Aileen what can you say about what happened?"
no one answered..
"Aileen? hello?"Betty called..
A voice of a boy said"hello? Betty? who's Aileen?"
"who are you?"asked Betty in a gentle voice.
"*giggles*i'm Angelo! so,you have a crush on me?*giggles*"Angelo said
"uh-oh!"Betty shouted,dropped the phone and blushed..
she was so embarrassed!
she can't believe her crush was the one she was talking to!
_______________________________________
so i hope you enjoyed it!
and wait...
according to:
www.lovefatedestiny.com... ,
Angelo's tel. # is:
553-6423
and Aileen's # is:
553-6424
Betty was so excited to call Ailenn that she pressed 3 instead of 4..
:]
haha.
that's all!
xoxo!

#82  2008-06-23 16:57:40

gladz23
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you'll be blessed. bbshya
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

very funny^^..
i like this thread^^





#83  2008-07-04 12:59:53

MArki
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

:mad::mad::gift::gift::question::question::question::exclaim::idea::|:|:|

:evil::evil::evil::o;]:rolleyes::mad::D=D

#84  2008-07-07 11:22:49

black 404
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

Should been Read :

:wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash:

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.
Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.
Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No.
Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...
Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.
Prof: So who created evil?
Student does not answer.)
Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?
Sudent has no answer.)
Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in God?
Student: Yes.
Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.
Student: No sir. There isn't.

The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold.
Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something.
You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.
To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of
life: just the absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (Theclass is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student: That is it sir... The link between man & God is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.


#85  2008-07-07 14:04:54

cUtieAyu
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

this is from onlinefunnystories.com:

Dispatcher: 911 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

------------------

Dispatcher: 911
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

-----------------

Dispatcher: 911 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

Hope you enjoy it! =D:lol:=D:o=D:lol:


«:*´‘³¤³´‘*:»§«:*´‘³¤³´‘*:»§«:*´‘³¤³´‘*:»§«:«:*´‘

Let us eNdeAvoR so 2 LivE dAt wEn wE cOmE 2 diE evEn d uNdeRtakEr wiLL b soRry..
«:*´‘³¤³´‘*:»§«:*´‘³¤³´‘*:»§«:*´‘³¤³´‘*:»§«:«:*´‘

#86  2008-07-10 10:54:27

keyz_08
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FAshion?? (Luv 'em!!)
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

the jokes here are funny.. i would research some soon... =)




butterflies reminds me of something! =D =D

#87  2008-07-12 03:49:33

cUtieAyu
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

:lol:  here's another one... :D



The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
   

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Last edited by cUtieAyu (2008-07-12 03:55:10)


«:*´‘³¤³´‘*:»§«:*´‘³¤³´‘*:»§«:*´‘³¤³´‘*:»§«:«:*´‘

Let us eNdeAvoR so 2 LivE dAt wEn wE cOmE 2 diE evEn d uNdeRtakEr wiLL b soRry..
«:*´‘³¤³´‘*:»§«:*´‘³¤³´‘*:»§«:*´‘³¤³´‘*:»§«:«:*´‘

#88  2008-07-20 09:49:05

njblxii
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Bye Cedric, Hello Edward.
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

in jollibee..
igorot: miss, my order will be one bottle of honey..
sales lady : we dont sell honey here..
igorot: what ? you dont sell.. hey woman!! dont lie to me.. theres a big bee outside, then you say there's nothing..dont trick me..im not ignorant..give me now!!!!give meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!




hoooh!let's exercise..

#89  2008-07-25 12:01:23

_prInceSs12_
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flying erk-erk. lol~
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

pick up lines:


:eh:  "miss, can i buy you a drink?"
:rolleyes:  "actually, i'd rather have the money."
___________________________________________________________

:eh:  "im a photographer, i've been looking for a face like yours."
:rolleyes:  "im a plastic surgeon, I'VE been looking for a face like yours!!!"

___________________________________________________________

:eh:  "your face must've turned a few heads!"
:rolleyes:  "and your face must've turned a few stomachs!!!!"

___________________________________________________________

:eh:  "haven't i seen you someplace before?"
:rolleyes:  "yes, that's why i don't go there anymore."

___________________________________________________________

:eh:  "is this seat empty?"
:rolleyes:  "yes, and THIS ONE WILL if you sit down."

___________________________________________________________

Last edited by _prInceSs12_ (2008-07-25 12:02:56)


#90  2008-08-01 12:47:47

riana21.punkemorock
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

french lessons:
French lesson
Cough: o vou
Ashes: a vou
Naked: hu vou
Car: re vou
Baloon: lo vou
Drugs: sha vou
Gud bye: va vou
Cute: a cou
Ikaw: ga gou

#91  2008-08-07 00:40:49

Shim Oo-Ma
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

^
lol :lol:
--
["Are you ready to die, kids?"
"Aye aye, shinigami!"
"I can't hear you!"
"Aye aye, shinigami!"
"Ooooohhhh..."]

Who has a notebook you can write in to kill?
"DEATHSPONGE NOTEPANTS"!
Who murders the whales,starfish,n the krill?
"DEATHSPONGE NOTEPANTS"!
If murder and mayhem be something you wish...
"DEATHSPONGE NOTEPANTS"!!
Put down a name; you'll have one DEAD FISH!
"DEATHSPONGE NOTEPANTS"!!!
[etc.].



Small Confession (your love is all i need) - Tohoshinki

#92  2008-08-07 02:59:27

human1percent
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

nice joke..guyzz..luv iitt:wow::wow:

#93  2008-08-25 13:39:27

triciapink29
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ok.fine. whatever you say
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

^ all of your jokes are killin me =D

Mine!
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"

Q: Why don't blind people skydive?
A: It scares the heck out of the dog.

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with the dog."

"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground" he answered.

"But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered: "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."

A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.

When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.

The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.

The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!"

The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"




Im A Girl♥

#94  2008-08-27 10:54:47

rizz.chan
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I Loev Yew... <3
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!



=D ahahaha! that's funny

some more! :D






...tnx to ziz PHIA and EUNICH for my siggy...

#95  Today 02:45:45

-NiK-
» FriendsterGeek
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[TAURUSLADY]
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

riana21.punkemorock wrote:

french lessons:
French lesson
Cough: o vou
Ashes: a vou
Naked: hu vou
Car: re vou
Baloon: lo vou
Drugs: sha vou
Gud bye: va vou
Cute: a cou
Ikaw: ga gou

haha i larb tis one :lol:

_prInceSs12_ wrote:

pick up lines:


:eh:  "miss, can i buy you a drink?"
:rolleyes:  "actually, i'd rather have the money."
___________________________________________________________

:eh:  "im a photographer, i've been looking for a face like yours."
:rolleyes:  "im a plastic surgeon, I'VE been looking for a face like yours!!!"

___________________________________________________________

:eh:  "your face must've turned a few heads!"
:rolleyes:  "and your face must've turned a few stomachs!!!!"

___________________________________________________________

:eh:  "haven't i seen you someplace before?"
:rolleyes:  "yes, that's why i don't go there anymore."

___________________________________________________________

:eh:  "is this seat empty?"
:rolleyes:  "yes, and THIS ONE WILL if you sit down."

___________________________________________________________

Last edited by _prInceSs12_ (2008-07-25 06:02:56)

haha this one also :D

more jokes plsss :D




Why some of you rips my codes/works and have the guts to add me in their fs??? You must go to hell!!!

#96  Today 03:32:40

iana27
» FriendsterManiac
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143 tertin ko. ♥ ü
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Registered: 2007-06-05
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Re: Post your funny [ENGLISH] stories, articles or jokes here!!

riana21.punkemorock wrote:

french lessons:
French lesson
Cough: o vou
Ashes: a vou
Naked: hu vou
Car: re vou
Baloon: lo vou
Drugs: sha vou
Gud bye: va vou
Cute: a cou
Ikaw: ga gou

I love this one!!
bwahahaha!!




Cover Boy of FriendsterTalk University. xD

multiply.♥
prendstar. xD
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