friendsterTalk - Friendster Forum

a sosy conversation:

girl1: oh how did you come here? did you walk or did you ride?

girl2: siyempre did you ride. wat do you think of me...poverty? oh common!

-

wife: do oyu have any idea what will happen to you if i'll die?

husband:i might also die.

wife: (blushes) oh...why?

husband: sometimes, too much happiness causes death.

-

a prince was cursed by a witch and he could only speak a word per year. if he doesn't he could save it for the next year. then he saw a beautiful princess and fell in love with her. he waited for 9 years to say "my lady, i love you. will you marry me?"

and the princess answered...

"pardon?"

Si Dan Torris taga Bicol nagTNT sa US.

Nag'grocery...

CASHIER: VISA or master?

DAN:(kabado) Hanap Visa ko!

(sumakay ng auto, walang gasolina>

GAS BOY: Pay first!

DAN:Naku poh! PAPERS daw!!

(run sya sa phobe booth to call home)

VOICE: Hello! AT&T, my i help you?

DAN: Alam na nila na TNT ako!!

(pawisan lumabas)

KANO: Are you done?

DAN: Kilala nya ako!!

KANO: Tourist?

DAN: Pati apelyido ko!!

KANO: Be cool!

DAN: Nay ko poh! Pati probinsya ko alam na!!

wahehehehehehee!!!

one day there was a boy send a massage to his father!!! but his younger brother wrote the massage that his kuya is a good boy but his kuya get mad becaus he is a girl pala

Pregnant unwed daughter

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, She confides this ' news' to her mother.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did This to you?

I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature And distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the Girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family Situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However,

If there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand

Firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You can try again !"

hahaha

here's i wanna share. its about 80 year old man marries 20 year old woman...

The marriage of an 80 year old white man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town.

After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for

the birth of their first child.

The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, 'This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?'

The old man grinned and said, 'You got to keep the old motor running.'

The following year, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their second child. The same nurse was attending the delivery and again went out to congratulate the old gentleman. She said, 'Sir, you are something else. How do you manage it?' The old man grinned and said, 'You gotta keep the old motor running.'

A year later, the couple r eturned to the hospital for the birth of their third child.

The same nurse was there for this birth also and, after the delivery, she once again approached the old gentleman, smiled, and said, 'Well, you surely are something else! How do you do it?'

The old man replied, 'It's like I've told you before, you gotta keep the old motor running.'

The nurse, still smiling, patted him on the back and said, 'Well, I guess it's time to change the oil. This one's black.'   

lol!!! this thread isreally funny!!!heres mine

A jeepney and an Airplane crashed. Where is the site of huge casualties?
answer: Graveyard... get it?

Knock Knock
whose there
I wanna kill myself...
are you serious?
well I've been having these dark thoughts lately. And when I look at my body in the mirror my male parts make me sick
utter silence for... well... 10 secs... then phone rings... ninja unplugs phone cable.
I'm just telling a joke man!
ok ok... do it again
:)Knock knock
Whos there
if you say a word I'll shoot my self.
:ninja:if you say a ---
I have a gun
silent time of 2 secs
I do. I have a gun
Listen, man.... Is there soomething you want to tell me?
(nods his head) It's... CAlled a joke!!! hha
God!!! when will you stop making the jokes!
I'm just making---
Youre missing the point!
:)knock knock
whose there?!
I'm gonna kill myself
I'm gonna kill myself who?!
Smileys hangs himself after the ninja blinked
Ninja stares at the corpse. and is lik O.O
I dont get it...

Yeah I know, it sucks... But just use your imagination and Visualise it clearly... you'll get it... eventually

^ speaking of marriage. heres a short story about a couple who is celebrating their golden anniv.

entitled
'How to Stay Married Forever

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful & loving couple". The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."

"We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again, this time causing her to drop her water. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice."

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for a third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I shouted at her, "What 's wrong with you, woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy?"

She looked at me, and quietly said, "That's once."

"And from that moment... we have lived happily ever after."

another one:


Applicant applying as a Secretary

Deer Sir,


I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can
Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.


I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole
really seam to respond to me belly well.


I´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.


I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru
my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to
pay me and wat you think that I am werth,


I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. .


hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,
Peggy May Starlings


PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me
taken at my last jobb.

..








...











....















.....

Employer's Reply:



Dear Peggy,



It's OK honey, we've got spell check.....


Welcome onboard!!!

Last edited by ak0cs3m (2008-02-09 15:25:53)

knock knock
who's there
akomaba

akomaba who?  

Sorry Not English But Funny Tho

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.

Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.

The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.